I’m going to start out by informing you that the right approach depends purely on your mindset. If your mindset is something like “I want to stop this super hot sexy lady and get her number” you are attaching to your outcome too much. Putting too much pressure on yourself and creating anxiety. When you go in with a much more relaxed mindset like “I want to talk to this person and see if I can make them smile” it becomes a lot easier to do an approach.
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Its all too often that we suppress our thoughts and fantasies to the back of our mind and forget our true desires in our romantic relationships. Take a moment and really feel what your body lusts for. Is it more frequent sexual encounters? Is it more than one person in bed? Is it a certain outfit you want your partner to wear and act out? These desires and impulses are only natural. We are sexual beings after all.
Sex is an expression of who we are and we need not hide our true intentions. Society often programs us in ways that make us feel guilt or ashamed of having certain thoughts. This leads us to have 2 internal movements. One moment is trying to contain such socially unacceptable behavioral fantasies. The other is simply trying to connect with your true self.
What will I do? How do I express myself to my partner without sounding demanding? These are the tough questions that you have to face. You may not like the answer to some of these questions. If deep down you really want to experience them and your partner is unwilling to participate or just plain can’t help you then you will have to decide if your willing to step up and actually go after what you want and desire in life. However it’s very possible your partner would will love to participate with you and possibly even tell you their very own secret fantasies that you didn’t know existed.
One of the most gentle ways to let them know how you feel is to write a letter to them addressing your desires. That’s right, good old fashion pen to paper. You may give it to them as your leaving for work and tell them to read it. You may put it in their letterbox with their name on it. You can pop it on their desk in their room somewhere they will visually see. Use your imagination and this can be done hundreds or even thousands of different ways. If you have a very open and honest communication with your partner then you don’t need to resort to anything so gentle. Just tell them. Give them space to talk it out with you. Don’t cut them off mid -sentence(see what i did there :P)
Take time to think and imagine exactly how everything will go down. If your fantasy seems a bit too out of the ordinary such as imagining physical abuse(though some people are into that) etc. its possible you need some physiological help. Please go see a medical professional as somethings are meant to be left to the imagination.
All in all, remember that the only person you need to make happy in life is actually yourself. Your not here for anyone else but yourself so be kind to you and seek what you want and desire. We only live once(as far as we know)!